I was also scared of being alone anywhere except a movie hall. I never stayed home alone although I often went on treks alone and travelled alone to little known nooks and corners in India.
Then I joined work at a place I was comfortable from the very first day although I was really the odd one out in a crowd of extremely sophisticated people. In general, everyone was nice to me so I really did not mind being the odd ball here. But I was still afraid of many things and one of them was sitting alone in the marketing room when everyone else was on the field. I remember asking my big bosses to come out and give me company. Time passed and I started feeling comfortable in a big room all by myself. I was still averse to the idea but it was okay.
Today, i sit in a dark office inside a dark cabin with wooden walls and dark glasses around me and have no fear of the walls around me. One can get used to almost anything I suppose, given enough time.
Maybe it is good that I no longer fear being alone but every time i enter my room i feel i could just curl up and die and the world around will just not care. A sad thought for a week end morning.
To blow away the blues, I shall listen to some lively music and leave you with "The Daffodils"
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced;
but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.
